So for about a month I was doing the slim fast diet – look it up if you don’t know what it is.
I lost about 10lbs in the space of three weeks and was going mental at the gym. I’d never been more determined to do it and it was pushing me like crazy. I was obsessed with being skinny. I was torturing myself with all these “perfect” bodies, all these toned babes all over everything.
And then I got so freakin depressed. I hate calorie counting and I wouldn’t eat something unless it was all green on the little nutritional counter and wouldn’t have a snack that was more than 100 calories. I pushed myself so hard at the gym I’d feel sick and dizzy and couldn’t catch my breath. I hated my clothes, I hated my stomach, I hated everything.
Then I read some quote that someone put on facebook, just about what would happen if you woke up one day and you were 82 and you’d not lived your whole life because you were too worried about your belly or your thighs being wobbly.
I just, I sat up and I said “fuck this.” I’m 26 years old, I don’t need to be obsessing over what I eat or sweating it out at a gym that costs me £40 a month that I don’t enjoy.
Being on that diet made me such a boring person, I hated myself and I was angry and low. It made me so unhappy and I never thought that would happen.
I’m not skinny, I don’t have a toned stomach and my arms wobble and my thighs rub together.
But who fucking cares?
When I want chocolate, I eat it and don’t think about it. When I want seconds, or thirds, I damn well have them. Etc, etc.
I just thought, I could throw my life away exercising and forbidding myself from the things I love to eat, but it won’t stop me from dying of something anyway.
I’d rather live a happy, curvy life than a skinny lonely one.
And it has changed the way I look at people completely. I used to look at them and find something to hate, their stomach, their legs, their skin, their hair. Now I look at them and am happy for them being so beautiful. It’s all different. It’s all about perspective.